Dear Crazy Neighbor Girl,

Thank you for waking me up this morning. You know I really hate to sleep in past 4:45 am--especially when I have a killer cold. I'm just so fortunate that you decided to yell into your phone out on the balcony...I'm sure "baby girl" appreciated it too...she probably wouldn't have been able to hear you if you hadn't increased your volume with every f-bomb you dropped! I really appreciate how considerate you are...you made it so much easier for me to eavesdrop! Most people try to have their conversations in private where the entire apartment complex can't hear them-but not you. No, no need to apologize, I enjoy it when you broadcast the intimate details of your super-exciting life at 200 decibels. In fact, I really would like to thank you. Normally my next door neighbor has the happy privilege of waking me up in the middle of the night...every time he moves, his bed bangs against the wall and jolts me out of sleep...and then I get to enjoy the symphony of his amazing snores through the wall. It was so much nicer to wake up to your soothing shout. I am just so sad that we will only be neighbors for 5 more days! I really am a much more effective person when I never get a full night of sleep...so really, Thank you! And please, enjoy your Saturday morning...I am sure you will be sleeping in, so I'll make sure to tell my children to keep it down while they are playing out on the balcony...I know, I don't usually let them play out there in the morning...but for you I'm going to make a special exception. And I won't encourage them to have a scream-at-the-top-of-their-lungs contest, just for you--I always like to repay favors!

Regards,

Your sleep deprived neighbor