Let it out

I had a meltdown in the grocery store this morning. Hyperventilation, crying, the whole thing. I'm pretty sure the checkout lady thought I was crazy. Nope. Not crazy. Just emotionally repressed. Sigh. I do this sometimes… But clearly not enough. After I got out to the car I sat there and cried some more... Partly because I was too anxious to leave and partly because I really needed to cry. Meanwhile, my four-year-old and 18-month-old are in the backseat watching me. "Why are you crying mommy?" Well... I tried to explain to my four-year-old that just like kids cry, sometimes moms cry too. Only I felt really weird. Why do I feel weird crying in front of my children? Oh I don't know, maybe because I never saw my own mother cry until I was 17 years old. Maybe because my father threatened to "give me something to cry about" when I cried as a child. (I don't fault my parents for these things, but they did happen). Maybe because I'm worried that my children will lose confidence in me somehow. Maybe because society has given us the message that crying is weak and unacceptable (unless someone dies or you go thru a break up), otherwise, crying anywhere besides your shower makes you "emotional" and "unstable". This is seriously messed up. So after I calmed down enough to drive home (and after a nice little "stability chat" in the car with one of my friends who happened to be at the grocery store at the same time as me) life got back to normal. Only for whatever reason I was still thinking about crying… and how completely therapeutic it is. Here is what I noticed... My four-year-old cried 4 different times in less than an hour over various issues... "I want my cousin to stay longer than two days" (cry). "I don't want my grapes in that bowl I want them in a cup-no that cup has Oreo crumbs in it" (cry) "Lydia won't give me that baby and I had it first" (cry). "I ran into the couch and it hurts right here" (cry). Seriously. Now obviously not every day is like this...she is little bit sick... But kids cry very easily about anything and everything, and I must say I'm a little jealous. Think of how much more emotionally healthy I would be if every time I felt like crying, I just did. None of this holding it back so I can look tough crap (or whatever). No keeping it in so I won't be judged as weepy or unstable. Life is frustrating. Sometimes you really just need a good cry to reset your emotional clock ... but for whatever reason, I don't cry easily. The stress has to just build and build and build until finally I just crack. Yes, I need therapy. I feel like I should've learned somewhere along the way how to be more emotionally mature... Like how to handle anger and effectively deal with frustration. How to overcome fears. And how to feel a little bit vulnerable or out-of-control but be okay with it. Kids often cry because they don't know how to deal with the emotions created by the problems they face. And whether or not the problem is actually solved, they generally feel better after a little bit of crying. (I'm sure it also helps that mom is usually there to hug them and tell them that everything is going to be okay). Well guess what? I often don't know how to deal with the emotions either. I "grew up", but rather than learning how to deal with problems and the resulting emotions, I just learned not to cry. Awesome. So now the question is, how do I undo 34 years of crappy conditioning? Right...therapy. :) I want to learn how to be more emotionally healthy so that I can teach my kids how to do it... And that might just mean they see me cry more often. That way, maybe they will know that I'm a real person... Not a robot with no feelings. Crying is beneficial and normal and it makes you human! So let's all cry together! Don't hold back...go start your own waterworks!

Stuff on Toast

Is there a term for eating things on toast? You know how if you have a piece of pie with ice cream it's called "pie al a mode"? Well I think there should be a term for eating things on toast. Because toast  is delicious. And because I eat a LOT of things on toast! I found a list online of things that are good on toast and a couple of my favorites did not make the list! So just for fun here are a few of my favorite things to eat on toast (The toast must be buttered for maximum deliciousness. Also, some foods taste better on white toast and some are better on wheat... but I think that is just a personal preference).

Yogurt --obviously. Learned this one at a very young age. I have been surprised how many people have not even tried this! College roommates, mission companions, pretty much anyone who has ever seen me eat yogurt on toast always gives me a really funny look, but once they try it they're totally converted!

Cream of Wheat -- Um, yes! I am not a brown sugar in cream of wheat type of gal... Nope...I like it plain, and spread on buttered toast!

Scrambled eggs-- Yum Yum Yum! If only I could figure out a better way to keep the eggs from falling off the toast while I am eating it...

Spaghetti--This was my go to high school lunch... You know that year I was coming home for lunch every day during volleyball season?  Well anyway... Spaghetti on toast is awesome!

Minestrone Soup--This is even better if it's leftover minestrone soup! I think I discovered this one when I was trying to gag down Mom's minestrone (Who likes the soup that is completely full of vegetables when they are a kid?) --now, it's the only way I eat it and I love it!


So there you have it.... Go enjoy something delicious on toast today! :)

Garlic Cheesy Bread Recipe

Who likes Garlic Cheesy Bread? I'm pretty sure everyone but Dad. So I think it is in everyone's best interest to have this recipe in their bag of cooking tricks. Here's why:

1- It tastes DELICIOUS!  

2- You can make this in 1 hour from start to finish! and 

3- It will keep your man happy (Juli, I'm talking to you--unless of course Tom is not a garlic fan, in which case he can join Dad in the haters camp or you can make it with less or no garlic. Still yummy).

When I first got married, I really sucked at making anything with yeast. I tried several times to make bread or cinnamon rolls or ANYTHING with yeast and it never worked. I even messed up Rhodes bake and serve rolls. Not kidding. Then I moved to Minnesota...and I bought a candy thermometer and different yeast, and now I am a superstar. ;) So I feel obligated to pass on my bread making knowledge to you...so you don't have to suffer! 

So I thought it would be funny to do this in food blogger style...you know, with tons of mostly useless pictures...except I didn't take pictures of every step...and I am going to put the recipe at the top...I hate it when they make you scroll through 3000 pictures before you can see the actual recipe! So here you go! :) Enjoy!

Ok, so start with the yeast...this is what I use:

They sell small packets of yeast in the flour aisle, and I have used those with some success but only if I use a candy thermometer to get the water temperature perfect (at least 110 degrees).

So put the sugar and yeast in the pretty warm but not blazing hot water and mix it up a bit. Let it sit for 5 minutes or so...til you can see a few bubbles...then the yeast is likely dissolved and you know you didn't kill it.

Mix it in with the flour + salt as best you can...use your hands to mix it the rest of the way. Then knead it a bit (you know, stretch it and smash it...I usually just do it in my hands, not on the counter. Don't get too crazy...just do it til your hands get tired (no picture cause this step is a little messy...didn't want to get it all over the camera)! Also, you can do this in a mixer, but with this small a batch it doesn't work great with my Bosch mixer. Plus I hate to clean the dang thing, so I save that for bigger batches. Put the ball of dough in a bowl, cover with a towel and let it rest for at least 15-20 minutes. (Longer is ok).

Get some butter and garlic powder and Parmesan cheese. Put the butter in a small bowl and put it in the micro-zapper long enough to barely melt it. Don't forget about it or it will be too hot and you'll have to wait for it to cool. (DO NOT add the Parmesan if the butter is hot...it will melt the cheese and ruin it!)  Just watch it and wait...takes 10-15 seconds. Add the garlic powder and mix well. Then add the Parmesan. This is what it should look like:

Spray the pan with cooking spray and flatten the dough out in your hands into a circle about 8 inches in diameter. Then put it on the pan and press it out with the heel of your hands until it is big and about 1/4 inch thick. 

Spread the garlic/Parmesan mixture all over with the back of a spoon...

Now the cheese...this Frigo stuff from Costco is yum! Sprinkle it on ...

 ...let it rise for 20 minutes or more (if you want it thicker, let it rise longer) and throw it in the oven...Put it on the bottom rack so the bottom gets done well. Bake it at 425 for 10-15 minutes. Check it at 10 minutes...and cook it more if necessary...it should look about like this when it's done:

Cut it apart and enjoy!  It is delicious alone or dipped in some ranch...mmm

Public Service Announcement

I had to break away from my regular posting schedule (never) to bring you this important laundry announcement: ALWAYS CHECK POCKETS!!!

I know it is everyone's dream to open the dryer and find red crayon covering every piece of white clothing they own, but I feel it is my duty to try to help prevent this irritating occurrence! 

I'll admit, as my laundry piles have grown higher I have grown lazier and pretty much never check pockets anymore. I don't ever put things in my pockets. And my girls refuse to wear most clothes that have pockets (too scratchy!). So yesterday when I was doing laundry, it never occurred to me that someone may have left not one, but TWO crayons in the one pair of shorts that made it into the load of whites. 

It could have been worse. Luckily the crayons were the triangle shaped kind and they got stuck by the lint trap in front of the door (and dripped all down the lint screen).  Lots of the shirts were inside out. One of the crayons was yellow. And judging by the look of the aforementioned pocket, the crayons stayed in there a while before being tossed around with all the clothes. It could have been much worse. 

So 3 hours later and half a bottle of oxyclean stain remover, the clothes are being washed again. I hate wasting time on crap like this...so the really irritating part for me is that I could have checked those pockets about 3,000 times in the amount of time it has taken me to clean up the mess! So there you have it. Just check those pockets.

And for those who are wondering...the crayons were put in the pocket at a restaurant to prevent the baby from eating them. 

Art 101

My third year of college, I decided I was going to be an art major with an emphasis in photography. So that first semester I signed up for all the required classes: art history, art appreciation, two dimensional design and three dimensional design. I actually really enjoyed all of the classes, however in the end I decided not to pursue a degree in photography... Mostly because I wasn't a super awesome photographer. But also because the prevailing theme in every class where you actually had to create your own art was that there were certain design principles that should be followed, however the grading was all very subjective... It seemed like if the teacher liked your stuff you got a good grade. If they did not, then you did not. Case in point, my two-dimensional design class. I'm pretty sure all we did was make art projects in that class and it was awesome! I would get excited about every assignment because I thought my ideas were good and I was always very pleased with my finished projects. And then I would take them to class and the teacher would be less than thrilled... It was frustrating and downright annoying when I got a B- in that class.  And the worst part is it actually made me question my abilities as an artist. Good thing that 15 years later I have come to my senses and realized that anyone can be an artist. And some people will like my stuff and some people will not... But that does not make it any less "art".  So the last few years as I have created what I think are amazing and artistic quilts... I have thought a few times, "take that 2-D design teacher!"

:) So go be artistic!!

Um...yeah!

Guess what I found at the store tonight? Oh yes. It's like a dream come true. I haven't had Banana Pudding ice cream in over 10 years. Not since leaving Texas. I haven't lived anywhere that even had Blue Bell in the store. So imagine my surprise when I saw it on sale in 2 different store ads today...I went back in time to a star filled summer night in Vidor, TX. That was a crazy complicated summer. A crawfish boil was just winding down...and we were eating as much Blue Bell as we could safely fit in our bowls. I have missed it. I just didn't realize how much until today. Well the drought is over... And to top it off, there was only one carton of the banana pudding left. When I got to the freezer section and saw all the lovely cartons, I didn't dare hope that they would have it (my favorite flavor)... But I discovered it in back of the others...all alone. Like it was just waiting for me to find it. Seriously. I best $3.88 I have spent all month! The bad news is, the rest of the family has been converted....so I won't be single-handedly finishing off the entire carton. Mmmmm...excuse me while I go get a little more...

Don't worry...I've taught you well.

Juli and I may or may not have watched a classic movie last week. Well...we didn't exactly sit down and watch it... But it was definitely on while we were painting. Since having children (and growing up a bit?) I have pretty much forgotten how to quote movie lines. Oh oh OH! It's probably because I hardly ever watch movies anymore! So I guess I haven't really forgotten how to do it... Because one showing of a quotable flick and it's all coming back to me! For real, it's been over a week since I saw the movie, but I have been catching myself saying things like:

"She really is..."
"Chew like you have a secret."
"When debutantes disagree, they say it with their eyes."
"You know you could use the front door."
"This is not good"
"Ya CRAZY!"
"Trouble with your wig Hastings?"
"I made breakfast darling!"
And "just know!"

And of course you can't just say the lines...you have to say them in the voice of the character in the show. It's gotten so bad that the kids are saying the lines too...
Oh, and poor Juli has been getting text challenges to use some of the lines in a conversation (twiglet)!! Oh what fun!!

Man, there is nothing like a good quotable movie! I think I'll watch it again!

Word, G-mun.