Now I get it...

Last night we suggested the boys go to a movie so we could get some important Christmas wrapping done. So once the kids were all in bed, Jeff and Andrew went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. After they left, we got down to business. We put on our workout clothes-- Michelle's were hot...mine were not.  We turned on Turbo Jam...and worked it. We even ran around the path outside...oh yeah, we were getting in shape. Then we put on our swimming suits. Michelle whipped up some Pina Colada's--virgin of course--with straws, but no little umbrellas. We went out for a little dip in the hot tub...but alas, it was scorching. So we decided to let it cool down while we wrapped some presents. So we pulled out a stack of boxes from Amazon and opened them all up. Michelle wrapped about 3/4 of my presents (since of course hers were already done).  Did I mention we were in our swimming suits? Our MOM swimming suits. Drinking Pina Coladas and laughing our heads off at our wittiness. After the wrapping was done we went back out to the hot tub...but could only dip our toes in since it was still a little too toasty. Oh well, it was a fun time to be had by all. I told Michelle that I understood how the Polygamist women could all be ok with the "sister wives" thing...it would be totally fun to have roomies that are girls. Sharing the man is where I would have to draw the line. But YAY for girls night!

Hmmm...TACKY!

One of you suggested I write a post or two based on words from my blog header. So here ya go. Just to refresh everyone's memories...here is the definition of one of my all-time favorite words:

tack·y

²    [tak-ee] 

adjective, tack·i·er, tack·i·est.

1.

not tasteful or fashionable; dowdy.

2.

shabby in appearance; shoddy: a tacky, jerry-built housingdevelopment.

3.

crass; cheaply vulgar; tasteless; crude.

4.

gaudy; flashy; showy.

I used to work with this girl...let's call her Brandi...since that was her name. She was kind of a cynical person, and she talked a lot of schmack.  She also cursed regularly...but somehow when she did, it sounded kind of funny. Often when people did or said things to her she would respond by shaking her head and saying, "hmmm...TACKY." I can't do it justice in writing...you just had to hear the way she said it, but it was super funny. She said it to our bosses, most of our coworkers, me--pretty much no one was exempt from having their actions labeled, "TACKY" by Brandi. I picked up the habit from her, and pretty soon I was calling everyone and everything "tacky" too.

Over Thanksgiving we were with family. You know you can't get 20 people together for 5 days without someone doing or saying something that just grates on your last nerve. I haven't wanted to tell someone they were tacky for SO long until just the other day. But of course I would never do that...it would have caused a lot of drama. So I just kept my mouth shut...for the most part. So just in case anyone actually ever reads this blog, I'm not gonna spell it all out here, but I will give a short list of things I have recently considered to be, well, TACKY!

Tacky: Making excuses for everything. Have you ever found yourself telling someone you couldn't or didn't do something and then following it up with a long list of excuses? Or, have you found yourself listening to someone else's 2 million reasons why they can't do/buy/eat/wear something? As if people actually care WHY you are lame. And the most irritating part of this is that none of the excuses is actually the real reason for the refusal to do said thing. I am kind-of a champ at excuse-making and it drives me insane. And when I know someone is just giving me an excuse (I'm thinking of a certain relative) I just want to smack them. For Pete's sake, if you need to justify yourself, just don't do it out loud!

Tackier: Reveling in someone else's misfortune. This one just kills me. Let's say you find out one of your friends did something super embarrassing. They try to mitigate the fallout, but alas, everyone finds out about it anyway...mostly because you can't keep your trap shut. It's the "Oh, my gosh! You are never going to believe what so-and-so did...I feel so awful for her! Can you believe she did that? How embarrassing!" The worst part about this tacky move is that you are pretending to feel bad for your friend...but meanwhile you can't help but tell everyone within a 50-mile radius all about her unfortunate blunder--and you seem to enjoy the telling a little too much. Why do we like to talk about other people's misfortune so much? Holy crap, just keep your mouth shut!

Tackiest: Talking schmack about the people that drive you insane! I have always been a schmack talker. If someone does something that irritates me, I find it virtually impossible not to talk about it to another person. I admit it...this is one of my least favorite character flaws. Sometimes I wish I could think of tactful ways to tell the people that aggravate me that what they are doing is super annoying. Or better yet, I wish I would just NOT BE ANNOYED. I seriously need to get some more love for people, you know? Maybe then I wouldn't be so bothered by by what they do and say. But in the mean time, I can't seem to ever stop talking schmack. For the love, I just need to cork it!

So if no one has figured it out, I do the above 3 tacky things on a regular basis, but usually it takes seeing someone else do it for me to remember how much I really don't want to keep these behaviors up. So, please, the next time I start to make excuses, or talk a little schmack, just remind me that the cool girl isn't tacky!

Totally Confused...

...by everyone's obsession with "Twilight". Tonight we decided to have a little girls night. Michelle and Andrea and I went to see the new Twilight movie. (Against my better judgement). So we went to the theater. We got tickets. We stood in line for popcorn...the teenyboppers next to us in line had "Team Jacob" or "Team Edward" written on their hands and arms. Seriously, there are teams for this? Amazing. The movie itself was...interesting. I was going back and forth between laughing and rolling my eyes. I never read all the books, so I pretty much had no idea what was really going on. And a few of parts were just gross (so I covered my eyes). I just can't take that stuff seriously. But it was fun to have a night out. Michelle wants me to start a countdown for when the second part of the movie is coming out, but I definitely won't be holding my breath...I've had enough Twilight to last me the rest of my life. On a more exciting note, we did hit Old Navy again on the way to the show and got some cute silver flip flops (for 75 cents) to match Madi's little dress! Yes friends, yes.

Clean-up on Aisle 6

Shopping is awesome sometimes. Tonight...it was me and Andrea...off to Joann to find fabric for her quilt. We found almost everything we were looking for in about 10 minutes. Amazing. Then we found some sweet wood Christmas ornaments that were exactly what I was looking for...24 of them. Andrea found some mini muffin papers that she needed...there was just scoring all around. Then we decided to stop at Old Navy. This is where the clean-up really happened. Madi's cousins both got cute gray dresses for the upcoming family picture, so when I told the Madster she got to wear pants and a shirt for the picture, she was not pleased. Not at all pleased. She wanted to wear a pretty dress like the other girls. So that's what I was looking for at Old Navy. And can I just tell you that usually if I am looking for something specific, I never find it. Or I find it and it is in the wrong size? Not tonight. So here's what I found: Grey SUPER cute dress for Madi, check. Equally cute white and grey shirt for Audri, check. Perfect blue shirt for Madi for our other family picture, check. Darling white headband for Audri, check. White flip flops for Madi, check. Sweet grey yoga pants for me that fit perfectly and make me look awesome, check. All of this stuff on clearance, check! Coupon for $30 off a $60 purchase provided by Andrea, CHECK!!! Grand total for all this stuff: 36 and some change! I love a successful shopping trip! Now go blow some cash on stuff you don't really need (but get a good deal so you can feel justified)! I give you permission! ;)

I forgot I had a blog.

Getting older is an interesting thing. Sometimes (ok, everytime) when I talk to grandma, she tells me she is getting old and forgetful. And then she proceeds to tell me all about whatever the thing was that she had forgotten that day. I always tell her not to worry, I am only 31 and I forget stuff all the time. Usually it is not anything serious (like where I live or what my kids names are), but it is still irritating. I forgot about my favorite blog for a whole week. Just forgot it even existed...and I forgot about this blog. It's not like I wasn't on the computer (all day, every day...Arizona is kinda boring), I was. Just didn't remember that there were a few awesome time wasters that I was neglecting. So in honor of my memory loss, enjoy an old joke (that dad has told several times) that is very fitting.

Two old men were playing cards one night as they had done for years. Max, the older one, had been having trouble remembering what cards were what and usually needed help from his wife. 

At the end of the card game, Ed said to Max, "You did fine tonight, you didn't need any help at all! What's your secret?"

Max replied, "Ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all!"

"Must be a great school, what's it called?"

Max thought for a minute, "uh...it's a flower...red and pretty...with thorns..."

"A rose!" Ed guessed.

"Right... Rose, what's the name of that school?"

It's official...

...Papa John's Pizza is ON NOTICE! (If you don't get this reference, please go watch THIS clip).

So tonight we decided to order a pizza. We do this occasionally on Friday or Saturday night. We decided on Papa John's...a rarity, since generally we are too cheap to get their pizza. But they had a special -- one large pizza "the works" for $11. We decided we would get just half with "the works" and half with cheese...so we wouldn't have to pick the toppings off for Madi and Audri, since they refuse to touch the toppings. I was going to order online, but Jeff convinced me to just call them because it would be faster...he was going to pick it up on his way home from work and didn't want to be waiting forever for me to figure out the online ordering (I guess). So I called. Here is how the conversation went:

Matt (Papa John's employee): What can I get for you?

Me: I want your large "Works" pizza...the online special for $11. But I only want the toppings on half, and just cheese on the other half.

Matt: I don't think I can do that...let me check...nope, I can't do that.

Me: Really? Why not?

Matt: Well I can do that, but I can't give it to you at the special price.

Me: Ok, how much will it cost?

Matt: $13.99

Me: Seriously? You're going to charge me MORE for getting LESS? That doesn't make any sense.

Matt: I don't know what to tell you.

Me: I promise I am not trying to be difficult. I just don't understand why I can't pay for that whole pizza, but you just leave 1/2 the toppings off.

Matt: I don't know what to tell you.

Me: Ok, well how much is your cheapest plain cheese pizza?

Matt: $7...for a medium

Me: (unintelligible grumbling)

Matt: Silence.

Me: Hmmm...well I'll have to call you back I guess...or not...I don't really know what to do...it just goes against all my principles to pay $14 for something that I really ought to be able to get for $11. I'll just have to call you back. But probably not. Sorry. Bye.

Then I stared incredulously at the phone. Who can believe this? I mean, really? It's not like I asked them for double toppings at that price. I know they must have some reason for doing this...but for the life of me I can't imagine what it is. Even the employees don't even know why they can't do it, they just know they can't! Someone, please explain it to me!!! Well they are on Notice for the following reasons: for having ridiculous rules, for their employees not being able to explain said rules to me and for making me waste half my night on this blog post. Thanks for nothin' PJs.

If only they knew that because of this little rule, they just lost my business tonight to Pizza Hut (which isn't my favorite)...and to other pizza chains for the foreseeable future because stuff like that just irritates the crap out of me! Even their garlic dipping sauce will not entice me to buy a pizza from them for a long time. How does that taste?

It's like that.

So I just want to thank Lori for giving me something to post about. I have been in a blogging slump this week. So you want to know some random things about me eh? Well here ya go:

1. I make up random songs that I sing to my girls throughout the day. Usually they are to the tune "Twinkle, twinkle, little star." Sometimes they rhyme. Sometimes they don't.

2. In my future life, I secretly want to live next door to a really cool girl that I can be best friends with. Hopefully she will have kids the same ages as mine, and like quilting of course. I've actually thought about knocking on doors in the neighborhood where we buy our next house so I can audition potential candidates.

3. I love lemon-berry slushies from Sonic...it is one of the only drinks I will order besides water.

4. I really like to take pictures. Lots of pictures. My camera is my friend. I remember what it was like before digital photography, and I just have to say I am so glad I live during the digital age!

5. I envy girls who seem "put together." I am not that girl. I am always running 5-10 minutes late and my hair...makeup...clothes...kids...house...are never perfect.

6. I like using words that make me sound smart...but I don't know very many.

7. I generally dislike "tagging" and being "tagged" so I am disinclined to acquiesce to the request to tag someone else.

Now you are Cynthia experts! Go have some chocolate ice cream and celebrate!

Let me get this straight...

Once upon a time I got a perm. (And by "once" I mean several times in elementary school and junior high and I hate to admit it...but once in high school).  My hair was curly, curly. Everybody got a visual? Good. Well once I realized that perms give you goofy looking, high maintenance hair, I stopped with the perming and for several years I had easy to manage, naturally straight hair. Then I got a few years older, had a couple kids. And then the weirdest thing happened--suddenly my hair decided to just curl on its own. No one asked it to curl. It was not chemically encouraged to curl. It just did it all by itself. And I'm not talking about beautiful, Madi-style natural curls. I'm talking goofy, uneven, why doesn't that girl own a straightener, curls. How did this happen?? I'm not sure, but all I know is I can't seem to stop mother nature's vindictive fury (and neither can you). So, I'd just like to thank everyone for the straightener I received for Christmas a couple years ago--I actually looked presentable at church today.

Not cut out for the circus

I used to have skills. Acrobat skills. Balancing skills. And yes, I once had juggling skills. But not anymore. Sadly, many of my brilliant and useful circus talents have vanished. Today while I was trying to entertain a friends' kids I broke out the tennis balls and tried to prove I've still got it. Well. I don't. Who was with me the day I decided to learn to juggle? I remember we were hanging out at Mom's work in AF and she had this giant box of stress balls in her office. They were dark blue and green and looked like little replicas of the earth. After an hour or so of playing dodge ball up a flight of stairs with them, I decided they would be good for juggling. So I spent the next couple of hours trying to figure out how to juggle. I was surprised that it wasn't that hard once I got the hang of it. Eventually I became quite good at it. One summer while I was in Texas, I bought a pack of tennis balls and would juggle while counting to 100 every night before I went to bed--just for the heck of it. Today I couldn't even count to 10 without dropping a ball! So, I just wanted to make sure everyone knows I won't be running away to join the circus anytime soon because all I would be good for is cleaning up after the elephants...if you know what I mean. Guess I'm gonna need a new fall back just in case the wife/mom/quilter thing doesn't work out for me. ;)

Tell that to my frying pan...

I just finished watching Tangled with Mads for like the 15th time, and I'm pretty sure it is the best Disney movie ever. I just love it...love the tower, love the evil mother, love the floating lights, love the ending...I cry every time. It also has good songs and some good quotable lines so that doesn't hurt. Just sayin'.

Awesome Sauce!

Dear Sure-Jell,

I made some freezer jam this morning. A.K.A. Awesome sauce (Parks and Rec fans? No? Ok.) Well anyway, we were out. And you just can't enjoy a good PB&J sandwich without freezer jam. So I made my usual special concoction...mixed berry. While I was making the jam, I read your instructions and glanced through the recipe options provided with the pectin. I thought again what a shame it is that you scare people from making experimental jams with your threats of set-failure if one deviates even slightly from your recipe. It is so sad that most people probably heed your warnings and will therefore only ever experience boring jam...like strawberry, raspberry, apricot or blueberry. If only they knew that your plain recipes can be manipulated and transformed into jam that can only be described as awesome sauce. One day, while NOT precisely following one of your recipes, I discovered the most excellent recipe for berry jam that sets every time and is magically delicious. I have included it below, and if you feel so inclined, you may include it in your recipe collection.

Sincerely,
A girl with some seriously amazing jam on her counter.

Berry Jam (yield: 6-7 cups)

4 cups crushed mixed berries (any combo of strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries). I use frozen berries...the best ones are from walmart...you need 2-3 bags.
1 box sure jell for low sugar recipes (pink box)
3 cups sugar
1 cup water
6-7 small tupperware containers

Thaw the berries if frozen(overnight in fridge, or microwave). Crush with a potato masher. Set aside. Put sugar and sure jell in a large pot. Add 1 cup water. Stirring constantly, bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat. Quickly add berries to the hot pectin mixture and stir until well mixed. Using a ladle, put jam into tupperware containers, leaving a little space at the top for expansion in the freezer. Put lids on and let sit at room temperature for 24 hours. Freeze for up to a year. Yum!

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays

I heard once that the most common day/time of the week for people to have heart attacks was monday morning...because most people would rather die than go back to work after the weekend. I don't know if that's true, but lots of people hate Mondays. I am not one of those people. Monday might be my favorite day of the week. There are several reasons why I like it. It is definitely my most productive day...I work the hardest and feel the most accomplished. It is cleaning day... I do laundry, and try to clean every room in the house. I got the idea of a "cleaning day" from one of my old college roomies (Marlyce). She blogged about her cleaning day once a few years ago and I thought it sounded good...and monday seemed like a good day for it since our house usually gets the messiest over the weekend. I must admit, I don't clean it perfectly every week, but I try...and it feels so nice to actually have most of your house clean at one time...even if it only stays clean for a couple of hours. Then I don't get so stressed out about how trashed the house gets sometimes since I know it will all get cleaned again on Monday. This also makes my weekend more enjoyable, since I don't worry about doing chores on saturday when I would rather be playing! Monday is also the day I regroup after the weekend...I recommit to all my goals (to-do lists, exercise, eat better or whatever) and basically start over. And it certainly doesn't hurt that monday night is also soup night...so dinner is really easy to plan/prepare. The list could go on, but I've got some laundry to fold! So here's to the coolest day of the week...Happy Monday!

Work it, OWN IT!

Working out is cool. It makes you feel good, look awesome and have energy (or so I've heard). Shortly after I had Madi I was talking to one of my mother-in-laws friends. She was telling me that she got married at 30 and had her 5th child at age 37. At the time, I was 28, had one child, and was SO tired I thought I would probably die of exhaustion if I had any kids past age 32. I asked her what her secret was...and I was a little surprised by what she said. Get ready for some words of wisdom...she said, "I learned that an hour of exercise every day was more important than an extra hour of sleep." Hmmm...sounds counter-intuitive to me. I sleep or sit around doing nothing when I'm tired, and exercise when I feel like I have enough energy. Apparently I've been going about this all wrong. So time for a change...

I've decided that I am going to work out. I don't hate to do it. I'm just lazy. And I am out of the habit. I have plenty of time to work out. PLENTY. Just ask my iPad. So this is me making a commitment to work out every day this week for at least 10 minutes. And to all the marathon runners and workout queens who are rolling their eyes right now --I know, 10 minutes is lame. But I've heard somewhere that when you make a goal, you should make it doable-or you won't do it. I've also heard that it takes 21 days to make a habit...so after I've made it a habit, I will increase the amount of time I spend doing it (if I feel so inclined). And hopefully by starting slow I won't kill myself --can't work out consistently if you are dead. Anyway, I am happy to announce that I have already done my 10 minutes for the day! Wahoo! I am feeling the benefits already...I feel less like an old grandma!

Since aerobics is generally my workout of choice, here is an awesome video clip of the first aerobics I ever saw...it was on KBYU or one of those channels and Mom used to try to do this in the living room when we were little. Hilarious. I feel bad for people who didn't grow up in the 80's cause it ruled. Not only did they work out, they made it look cool. If only I was confident enough to rock the leg warmers...

I'm just like you!!

New blog, new blog, la la la la la la (picture me dancing around and singing). In honor of my new blog, I'm going to need 3 new followers immediately. You three know who you are...so hurry and go click that followers button over there on the sidebar...I'll wait...(this is me waiting.........whistling......humming.....still waiting......). Thank you! Now you can stalk my every post, just like I do yours! I was getting a little jealous of your team blogging awesomeness, and last night I was getting a little sappy, listening to my latest favorite obsession...Lady A. I wanted to post a youtube video for everyone to enjoy, so I just decided to make another blog...just for occasions such as this one. Of course, I had to make that lovely header...so I pushed replay on this song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs9X8NhQJF4

...wished youtube had a repeat button, cursed that I didn't save my header file so when the program crashed just as I was finishing it up--had to completely redo it... but 4 hours later, voila! A new blog! Oh, I maybe might have listened to this song like...42 times? Seriously, I started keeping a tally sheet at one point...it only had 13 ticks on it...but I didn't start the tally until hour 3. Hmmm...well if anyone is wondering, I have the whole song memorized, and I will be giving a free concert...all day long today. Pretty sure at some point today Jeff will say, "Cynth...can you stop singing that song?" It is awesome though.