It's official...

...Papa John's Pizza is ON NOTICE! (If you don't get this reference, please go watch THIS clip).

So tonight we decided to order a pizza. We do this occasionally on Friday or Saturday night. We decided on Papa John's...a rarity, since generally we are too cheap to get their pizza. But they had a special -- one large pizza "the works" for $11. We decided we would get just half with "the works" and half with cheese...so we wouldn't have to pick the toppings off for Madi and Audri, since they refuse to touch the toppings. I was going to order online, but Jeff convinced me to just call them because it would be faster...he was going to pick it up on his way home from work and didn't want to be waiting forever for me to figure out the online ordering (I guess). So I called. Here is how the conversation went:

Matt (Papa John's employee): What can I get for you?

Me: I want your large "Works" pizza...the online special for $11. But I only want the toppings on half, and just cheese on the other half.

Matt: I don't think I can do that...let me check...nope, I can't do that.

Me: Really? Why not?

Matt: Well I can do that, but I can't give it to you at the special price.

Me: Ok, how much will it cost?

Matt: $13.99

Me: Seriously? You're going to charge me MORE for getting LESS? That doesn't make any sense.

Matt: I don't know what to tell you.

Me: I promise I am not trying to be difficult. I just don't understand why I can't pay for that whole pizza, but you just leave 1/2 the toppings off.

Matt: I don't know what to tell you.

Me: Ok, well how much is your cheapest plain cheese pizza?

Matt: $7...for a medium

Me: (unintelligible grumbling)

Matt: Silence.

Me: Hmmm...well I'll have to call you back I guess...or not...I don't really know what to do...it just goes against all my principles to pay $14 for something that I really ought to be able to get for $11. I'll just have to call you back. But probably not. Sorry. Bye.

Then I stared incredulously at the phone. Who can believe this? I mean, really? It's not like I asked them for double toppings at that price. I know they must have some reason for doing this...but for the life of me I can't imagine what it is. Even the employees don't even know why they can't do it, they just know they can't! Someone, please explain it to me!!! Well they are on Notice for the following reasons: for having ridiculous rules, for their employees not being able to explain said rules to me and for making me waste half my night on this blog post. Thanks for nothin' PJs.

If only they knew that because of this little rule, they just lost my business tonight to Pizza Hut (which isn't my favorite)...and to other pizza chains for the foreseeable future because stuff like that just irritates the crap out of me! Even their garlic dipping sauce will not entice me to buy a pizza from them for a long time. How does that taste?